Years come and years go. Usually I’ll have something “smart” to say after that phrase, but I’m out of words.
I haven’t been active on my blog for a while now. But even so sooo much has happened. Living by my theory of life being a “beautiful chaos” I must say I stand true to my belief. This year started in an awesome way and is ending in a way I cannot complain. I can say I am personally at a different place in my life then I would have even thought I would be then. But that’s not why you guys are here reading this, so enough about me. Let’s get to it.
Have you ever met someone at a point of your life when you thought they were just some random person that you might never see again? You are currently at a point in your life where things are confusing. Where you are struggling through a currently relationship difficulty and you meet someone who calls your attention, still you fight not to do anything about it because you know better. Anyway, all this happens so far away so you are almost sure that nothing will become of it. Somehow this person doesn’t really leave your mind. Even though you have ignored them and fooled yourself on believing that the memory of them is gone, it hasn’t left. You have gone back home, you have fixed your relationship issues.
Over a short period of time later: you have graduated from college, you have found a good job, but now… now you are single. Things have finally gone the way you were always hoping they would’t. Deep inside you know the possibilities of this outcome were high, you gambled, and you lost. You lost a relationship, but most of all you lost a great friendship which was before that. You manage to finally get over it after prior lessons, but you know that you do not wish for the same to repeat. So, you come to a conclusion of what it truly is you think you want. You want to get to know someone over a long period of time before you make up your mind about them; exclusively, and thats where it hits you.
The memory of that person you met half a year ago floats to the surface of your mind; her face, her voice, things that attract you in a way that you believe compliments you. So, you reach out. Skipping and erasing everything I just wrote, you guys end up trying something that you both are not exactly on the same page. After all this “knowing exactly what you want” kakamaka, you end up screwing up that. What exactly? Well, something that wasn’t yet was because words mean too much to you, and the boundaries you drew with them were theoretically broken and you through a fit out of rage, confusion, irritation.
There you sit, alone, just you and your thoughts. What has this year brought for you?
Oh Yeah, I’ve grown up. (sigh)
JeffKid 